I think about your thighs,' he wrote in the second
letter, 'and the warm, moist smell of your skin in the morning, and the
tiny eyelash in each corner of your eye that I always notice when you
first roll over to look at me. I don’t know why you are better and more
beautiful than anybody else. I don’t know why your body is something I
can’t stop thinking about, why those little flaws and ridges on your
back are lovely to me or why the pale soft bottoms of your New Jersey
feet that always wore shoes are more poignant than any other feet, but
they are. I thought I would have more time to chart your body, to map
its poles, its contours and terrains, its inner regions, both temperate
and torrid - a whole topography of skin and muscle and bone. I didn’t
tell you, but I imagined a lifetime as your cartographer, years of
exploration and discovery that would keep changing the look of my map.
It would always need to be redrawn and reconfigured to keep up with you.
I’m sure I’ve missed things, Bill, or forgotten them, because half the
time I’ve been wandering around your body blind drunk with happiness.
There are still places I haven’t seen.'
Siri Hustvedt, What I Loved
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